Team of Menschen
Not noticed by many, Israel recently concluded a fascinating year-long political experiment which is certain to be taught and studied by PoliSci departments for many years to come. Israel has a parliamentary system, which requires the government to enjoy a majority of no less than sixty-one members of Knesset. After two years and four general elections in which the incumbent Prime Minister and head of the Likud party Benjamin “Bibi” Netanyahu, already fifteen years in power, was unable to form a ruling coalition, an alternative “Coalition for Change” was formed, and governed successfully for over a year.
Frustrated with Bibi’s efforts to rewrite Israeli law and subvert the judicial process as he attempted to duck his indictments for corruption and misuse of power, the most unimaginable political bedfellows were able to sit down and come to terms on sharing power. Israeli political parties can be highly ideological, and typically defy “Right/Left” or “Conservative/Liberal” classifications. Some may be pro-Settlements Hawks, yet downright Socialist on economic matters. Others are hard left on security issues, but economically conservative and downright Libertarian on societal issues. There are various Arab parties: Palestinian Nationalistic, Orthodox Islamist, and Communist (yes, even that). What brought this coalition together was their shared desire to remove Netanyahu from office and avoid the spectacle of a Prime Minister attending court daily, under criminal trial for his personal freedom and political life.
The process started with Yair Lapid, a former TV host and journalist (and high school mate of mine!), who years ago formed a Liberal/Centrist party known as “Yesh Atid” (There’s a Future). Over time the party grew to become the second largest one in the Knesset, behind only the Likud. In an unprecedented act of political selflessness and maturity, Lapid tapped far-right, orthodox leader Naftali Bennett to lead the coalition, creating legitimacy in the eyes of the various other parties involved, recognizing that most Israelis identify as “right wing” when it comes to security issues. Once the two of them agreed in principle, the various other pieces quickly fell into place, and the leftist minority parties found themselves sharing the Cabinet table with Laissez-Faire Liberals, Likud “refugees” who fled the party because of Bibi’s personal animosity (in a past life Bennett had served as Bibi’s Chief of Staff), settler zealots and, the biggest surprise of all, Ra’am, the Arab Islamist party, led by possibly the most mature, sober, and politically astute of the entire group, Mansour Abbas. This was the first coalition in the nation’s history to include an Arab party, a situation racially exploited by those in the Opposition, but a huge step forward for Israeli Arabs, who form 21% of the Israeli population, but are underserved economically and socially.
The glue that banded this group together was keeping Bibi out. But something far more profound had transpired: members knew that they could never agree on “core” issues (codename for matters pertaining to the Occupation) so they decided to focus solely on what was possible: Fixing the economy, social services, education, transportation, and improving matters for the Arab population, all the while skillfully managing the Covid pandemic. Security matters were largely left to the capable hands of the Minister of Defense, Benny Ganz and, lo and behold, Israel’s typically super-hot political flames subsided. The Cabinet, historically a political body rife with intrigue, skirmishes, and downright backstabbing, had become a collegial, respectful and, above all, productive entity. The Knesset ratified Israel’s first proper budget in several years, and, for most part, government was operating with increased effectiveness and goodwill. The ministers, all leaders of bitterly rival political parties, were constantly complimentary of each other, and agreed regularly that their opponents were also patriots who had the best interests of Israel at heart. Nowhere was this more evident than the proverbial “bromance” between Lapid and Bennett, who balanced power-sharing between themselves in a friendly (and, at times, humorous manner), calling each other “a true mensch”.
It was a miraculous political occurrence, much more precariously perched than Abraham Lincoln’s famed “Team of Rivals” (who, after all, were from the same party and served at his pleasure) and yet destined to fail. Even Bennett himself stated at the onset that he didn’t know whether this would last “Four weeks or four years”. It ended not with the anticipated political bang of ideological disagreement, but rather with the whimper of a couple of members of Knesset with personal grievances and perceived slights who decided to bolt. Bennett himself stated that “While I was busy running the country, I didn’t pay enough attention to my own party members”. Once it became obvious that the Coalition was no longer sustainable, Bennett honorably resigned as Prime Minister, making Yair Lapid, as per their agreement, the Caretaker Prime Minister, until the upcoming elections called for November of this year.
There’s a very good chance that history will not repeat itself and that Bibi Netanyahu, whose trial is underway in Jerusalem’s District Court, will get to form the next government and return as Prime Minister. The Likud remains Israel’s largest political party, by far, and the various Orthodox parties have remained steadfast in their allegiance to him. The country remains polarized and politically fragmented.
Israel was, and shall remain, a vibrant democracy, with the capacity to surprise the rest of the world, as it did over the past fourteen months during the greatest political experiment in modern times.
Creepy-Crawly
These are epic days for NASA: The James Webb Space Telescope, twenty years in design, has finally deployed to its permanent location in orbit, one million miles away from Earth, its mirrors successfully calibrated, and is delivering stunning daily observations of the most distant outposts of the Universe. The tiny space helicopter Ingenuity, originally designed for five short excursions on the surface of Mars, is on the verge of its 30th flight, proving not only the possibility of air travel on a distant planet, but also the ability to control such flight directly from Earth (as the new joke goes, Mars is the only planet known to be inhabited exclusively by robots). NASA is kvetching that they don’t expect to be able to retrieve the Martian soil samples from the Perseverance rover before the year 2033, but I’m willing to bet that they’ll come up with some gobsmacking brilliantly engineered solution well before.
While all these mind-blowing undertakings are occurring far away from home, back here on terra firma an old lumbering giant has been awoken from a long slumber: As NASA is readying the Artemis 1 mission to the Moon, our old reliable Crawler-Transporter (affectionately known at NASA, with its love affair with acronyms and abbreviations, as CT-2) is once again patrolling the roads at Kennedy Space Center, whisking the massive 365-foot tall Space Launch System to and fro, rolling on the custom-built highway at a top speed of one mile per hour, the 4.2 miles connecting the massive, cavernous Vehicle Assembly Building with the venerable, hallowed grounds of Launch Site 39-B, home of Apollo, SkyLab, Apollo-Soyuz, and fifty-three Space Shuttle Launches.
CT-2 is a miracle of old-school engineering: Seemingly a bunch of tractors put together, it’s actually a complex single vehicle, powered by two massive diesel engines, and requiring almost thirty operators just to take it out for a spin. Originally built in 1965 by the long-gone Marion Power Shovel Company (and not Caterpillar, as I had always assumed) it has undergone upgrades designed to extend its useful life by at least another twenty years, and NASA expects it to be in service for many years to come, schlepping around up to 18 million pounds on its baseball-infield-sized platform.
As I watched CT-2 carrying Artemis 1 on that famous roadway, with its 7-foot deep top layer of Tennessee river rock (to prevent sparks), I couldn’t help but reflect on the numerous trips it had taken to the various launch pads, some for missions from which our brave Astronauts did not return, and recognize that at the absolute base of our nation’s ambitious, courageous, and innovative space program, under all that technology, electronics, software, and science, sits the not-so-little Steam Shovel that Could.
Postcards from the Chai-lands (I)
When my daughter excitingly announced her engagement, she also informed us that it was a tradition in her fiancé’s family that bridegrooms get married wearing a kilt, on account of their Scottish heritage. Given the fact that the groom-to-be was not only Scottish, but also Jewish, and that a full Jewish ceremony was to be conducted, I had the inspired idea that, in my capacity as Father-of-the-Bride, I will provide the participants with a kippah (skullcap) in the tartan of the clan my daughter was to be joining by marriage. Little did I know what I was getting myself into…
The Scottish Register of Tartans (yes, that’s a thing) lists over seven thousand tartan variants. Obviously, it was vital that we get this exactly right – we’d hate to have a matrimonial clan skirmish, right? The groom’s father was consulted with, and I was advised that the correct appellation was “Cameron of Erracht” (not to be confused with pedestrian rank-and-file Camerons). This narrowed my choices down to five styles: Ancient, Modern, Hunting, Dress and Weathered. A quick visual match with a necktie owned by the dad validated the appropriate “Modern” variety. Next, I was able to obtain a swatch from a Scottish vendor which the Florida-based kippah manufacturer requested that I scan, and they would, in turn, digitally print the kippot. Three months before the wedding date I sent them the image file and asked to place an order. To my shock and chagrin, I was informed that the print was too difficult to produce, and they declined my order. I started frantically calling around, and finally found a company in Brooklyn, New York that was able to produce said skullcaps if we were to provide them with the desired fabric, twelve kippot to the yard. God bless the Internet – I located a tartan supplier in Brooklyn, Minnesota (who’d have thunk it?) that was able to ship us a hand-made, soft wool fabric loomed in Scotland itself. When I inquired as to the price, I was quoted $90 a yard, with several weeks’ delivery time. Questioning the high cost, they informed me that this was an incredibly soft fabric, which would feel wonderful when worn. After explaining to them the purpose of the purchase (which was a first for them), and that there was no chance of the exterior of the kippah actually touching anyone’s head, let alone skin (these things have a lining, anyhow) we settled on an in-stock Indonesian machine-woven Cameron of Erracht Modern Tartan, at the attractive price of $20 a yard. Drop-shipment was arranged, and five yards of material were transported from Brooklyn, MN to Brooklyn, NY. Following one final visual confirmation that the correct tartan was indeed received in New York, I authorized the accommodating Mrs. Chaya to produce sixty kippot, letting her know that if any excess ones are produced I’d be glad to buy them as well, expecting a small overage. Imagine my surprise (and secret delight) when they called to tell me that they were able to squeeze out 103 kippot from the same five yards… evidently some sort of modern seam-stressing miracle (or miscalculation). No matter – true to my word I held fast to my commitment to acquire all excess pieces made.
And there we were – the big wedding day: A lovely outdoor late-morning Mid-Atlantic event, my daughter beautiful in her gorgeous wedding dress, the bridegroom, his brother and their father resplendent in clan kilts, ceremonial daggers, and leather sporran pouches which, as cell phones were strictly forbidden, the officiating cantor checked the groom’s for contraband devices. And, on each male head, an authentic, one-of-a-kind Indonesian wool modern Cameron-of-Erracht yarmulke, undoubtedly approved by both the Almighty and Sir William Wallace. Blessings were recited, the ceremonial glass shattered expertly by the groom, the Father-of-the-Bride gave a short speech about merging the clan with the Tribe, wished the new couple well, and said a silent prayer of thanks that bagpipes were not part of the proceedings.
Postcards from the Chai-lands (II)
An important part of a Jewish wedding ceremony is the reading and signing of a ketubah, which is erroneously considered by many to be a marriage contract, which it is decidedly not. The ketubah was designed to protect the bride from one day being cast out of the marriage, with no assets to speak of. Hearkening back to the hard-core patriarchy of yore, rabbis recognized that many young men lacked the financial means with which to “acquire” a bride (an ancient practice known as mohar), so they devised the concept of what, essentially, amounts to a future possible payment, to be defined right before the wedding ceremony. The traditional ketubah stipulates various obligations the husband has towards the wife, and an enumeration of her rights, including the specific amount of money the wife is entitled to if the marriage is dissolved, all written in old Aramaic. The signing of the ketubah, in front of witnesses, is an integral part of a Jewish wedding, after which it was typically handed over to the mother of the bride, for safekeeping (a terrible practice, in my opinion, as our own ketubah was irretrievably lost during one of my late Mother-in-Law’s house moves…).
Obviously, this quaint document has long been superseded by modern law and practice and, in fact, a ketubah has no enforceable legal meaning. Modern Jewish couples now often use the ketubah as a declaration of vows and mutual commitments, at times composing their own unique version. Ketubahas have been around since the second century C.E., and can be beautiful works of art. There are artists who specialize in creating individualized, customized Ketubahas, replete with gorgeous imagery and hand-lettered text. These masterpieces run well into the four (and sometimes five) figures and forget about handing them over to the in-laws; they get professionally mounted, framed, and displayed in the young couple’s home.
My daughter didn’t want anything to do with a traditional ketubah, feeling that the financial transaction that was implied by it reduced her to some version of chattel, saying “I don’t want to be purchased for five goats or the like”. The couple eschewed the Aramaic version and selected a humanist text, in which they pledged each other trust respect and support, and committed to a harmonious relationship of equality. This statement was superimposed on a beautiful painting by artist Eve Rosin titled “Autumn Tree”, with the timeless inscription “Ani Le’dodi Ve’dodi li”, which translates into “I’m my beloved’s, and my beloved’s mine” (yes, it does sound better in Hebrew).
The cantor read the text, all parties signed where instructed, and it was off to the public ceremony under the chuppa (canopy), sewn by the mother of the bride and depicting Noah’s Ark and its many pairs of creatures. (As graven images are strictly forbidden by the torah, Mr. and Mrs. Noah were noticeably absent from the imagery…)
The last laugh was on my daughter, though. A few days after the wedding FedEx shows up at our house with a good-sized box from the new in-laws, and I’ll be damned if it didn’t contain a large plush Peruvian mountain goat, with a note stating: “we believe that this fulfills our contractual obligation to you”.
Beach of Dreams
The founder of the PLO and first Chairman of the Palestinian Authority was fond of using the phrase “Go drink from the sea at Gaza”, which is a local Arabic saying for “Take a hike” (or worse). I heard it used by him multiple times, as in the context of declaring a Palestinian State “We will announce it here, on Palestinian land, and whoever likes it, can like it, and whoever doesn’t, can drink from the sea of Gaza…” All in all, not a bad idiom.
Well, it turns out that (salt water aside) for quite some time the waters by the beautiful beaches of the Gaza Strip were not only undrinkable, but un-swimmable. Constant dumping of raw sewage into the Mediterranean by what is one of the densest population concentrations on the planet has rendered the waters unfit for any recreational use. Worse, the contaminated water was ever-drifting north towards Israeli beaches and, most importantly, Israel’s large desalination plants, which produce more than half the country’s drinking water.
Happily, the region collaborated in rehabilitating Gaza’s sewage system and putting an end to the dumping. As published in The Guardian, the rejuvenation of Gaza’s beaches is a major step in that it shows environmental cooperation between Palestinians and Israelis is possible, said Gidon Bromberg, the Israeli co-director of EcoPeace Middle East, a joint Israeli, Palestinian and Jordanian environmental peace-building organization, which played a big role in cleaning up Gaza’s seawater. “This is perhaps the only good news to come out of Gaza in a decade,” he said. “You can never disengage from a shared environment; you are always going to be dependent on your own and your neighbors’ ability to manage it. “The peace process may have lost all urgency, but tackling the climate crisis and water security, those are things that bring benefits to both sides. It’s about creating a healthy co-independence.”
And earlier this Summer, for the first time in a decade, beaches were finally declared safe for recreation, and hundreds of thousands of Gazans (and their children) were able to enjoy that wonderful, exhilarating, and refreshing feeling of swimming in the Mediterranean (so sorry, Chairman Arafat, no drinking was reported).
A Lesser Prophet
From the Mishna: “Rabbi Yoḥanan said: From the day that the Temple was destroyed, prophecy was taken from the prophets and given to imbeciles and children.”
Like many kids of my generation, I grew up on MAD Magazine. The arguments over who was the greatest (i.e. “MADdest”) artist of them all: Don Martin, Al Jaffee, or Dave Berg, will probably rage eternally, but there’s no argument about the influence they had over millions of young Americans.
One of the coolest features was an occasional item in “Letters to the Editor” titled “More MAD ESP?” in which readers would send in pictures “proving” that a previously published piece was an unwitting prediction of some yet-to-come event. Thus MAD “predicted” Watergate, Global Warming, and a variety of celebrity pairings. Years later the animated FOX show “The Simpsons” also enjoyed a slew of “predictions”, most famously envisioning the Trump presidency (who was succeeded in office by Lisa Simpson) back in 2000. They also predicted Smart Watches, the 2014 Ebola outbreak, and proof of Higgs Boson (AKA “The God Particle”). All in all, an impressive track record.
Well, it seems that The Carolina Israelite is following those esteemed footsteps. Witness: My rant regarding the unfathomable possibility that the Tampa Bay Rays would be concurrently based out of both Tampa and Montreal has been answered by Major League Baseball’s Executive Committee, who permanently shot down the Rays application to do so; my screed against the abomination that is the semi-annual time change was answered by the US Senate’s unanimous vote to switch to permanent Daylight Savings Time, and my recent lament regarding the absence of a real Slurpee® in the Research Triangle was met with the even more timely announcement regarding the construction of a 7-11 in West Cary.
Now, I have no specific knowledge of any “Israelite” readers who happen to be US Senators, MLB Owners, or gas station executives, but I find it a tad too coincidental to think that these important improvements to our society (especially the Slurpee) merely occurred on their own, with no impact from my public prompting. So, I’ve decided that in commemoration of our new-found political and commercial influence and power, The Carolina Israelite finally deserves its own motto. The New York Times has “All the News That’s Fit to Print”, the Washington Post states that “Democracy Dies in Darkness”, and FOX News is “Fair and Balanced”. Henceforth, The Carolina Israelite shall be known across the land by its tagline “The Shofar of the South”; I do believe we’ve earned it.